GQE Writing Prompt

Yeah, I know this really has nothing to do with these forums but I had to put this story somewhere.
We had our GQE tests this week at school. On the 2nd day we had to read about an author who was going to travel America to rediscover his country. Then after reading what the trip would be like we had to write a journal excerpt from his prospective. Here's what I decided to write. And for reference the guy is traveling in a mobile home and the words in parentheses are things not included in the excerpt. Also this isn't exactly what I wrote, just what I can remember.

It was the 5th day of my trip and I had already encountered my first hindrance. I was in Yosemite Park and I got a flat tire. This normally wouldn't have been a problem except I had given my spare to a couple a few days ago in return for their hospitality. So there I was, stranded. I was sitting outside of my temporary home, when 2 hikers came along. They offered to help me build a new tire out of wood. So the next day our task began. I went to the woods to collect birch wood, since this was the only type of wood that could be heated and bent without burning(see how I took the bending wood thing from the round barns?) Meanwhile the 2 hikers were making mud by taking the water from my tap and mixing it with dirt. The mud was for holding the birch together. When I had cut downa birch tree, we had enough wood. So we began the hard task set before us. After a hard days work, the tire was complete. It worked quite well with my mobile home. I gave the 2 hikers a bag of pork rinds and some cucumbers to show my gratitude. They said that I would owe them $41,000 for their efforts. I thought that was outrageous. I told them I didn't have that kind of money so they took me hostage. They locked me in my closet in the trailer. I had no idea how long I was in there. They fed me the very same pork rinds and cucumbers that I gave to them as gifts. I was forced to use the bathroom in a styrofoam bowl. Once the smell had become unbearable and I was a bit woozy from the gases, I decided that I had to escape. Next time the hiker opened the closet door to clean out my feces bowl, I threw the poo in his face. As he laid on the ground rolling around and holding his eyes in agony I said, "That's why you don't feed your hostages pork rinds." I stepped outside of the mobile home, and the 2nd hiker was standing there with his arms crossed waiting for me. (Keep in mind I have been watching Walker Texas Ranger for the past 3 nights) I greeted him with a kick to the head, Chuck Norris style. The kick seemed to barely have any effect on him. He stood up and charged at me with such velocity that I could not defend myslef. I was knocked to the ground. As I looked up the 1st camper was standing over me with a huge rock in his hands. "Buenas Noches," he said with a grin. That was the last thing I saw. At least that was the last thing I ever saw of that dream. Come to find out I had dreamt the whole thing. There was no flat tire or hikers. It seemed I had not connected with nature at all so far on my journey. But with the start of the 6th day, the journey was just beginning.

So what did you guys think? And yes, this does determine if I will pas High School or not.